Speaking truth with power.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

More Like Bummer

In what is a sure sign that we as a nation will be ordering arugula salads in French with our legs crossed sometime soon, iconic auto brand Hummer has ceased production. With Hummers no longer coming down the line, it is not clear how men will compensate for inadequacy. When reached for comment, an area man with E.D. said, "Hey! You should see how big my plasma is!"

The Hummer brand originated from military use, but enjoyed tremendous commercial success between the years of 1999 - 2005 in what is commonly referred to as America's "Go fuck yourself, environment, common sense and rest of the world" phase of consumer trends.

And while gender breakdowns were never applied in real-time market research, it is estimated that men enjoyed Hummers more than women. For most married couples, it is believed that getting a Hummer was typically more the husband's idea. And now - just like that - new Hummers are completely off the table.


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