Is Obama Getting Gay for the Gays?

Last Saturday night, Barack Obama and the gays finally got a room together, as the President declared to 3,000 gathered at the annual Human Rights Campaign gala that he would end 'don't ask-don't tell.' He went on to say: "We should not be punishing patriotic Americans who have stepped forward to serve the country. We should be celebrating their willingness to step forward and show such courage ... especially when we are fighting two wars."



The President said he would support the gays, yet provided no timetable or guidelines for how this would happen. But he should. Because to be honest, Obama has sort of been a tease up until this point. He's courting the gays, but not really putting out... politically speaking.



The next afternoon in Washington, D.C. tens of thousands of gays, lesbians and supporters marched past the White House reminding the President of his promises, carrying signs and generally being fabulous on their way to the Capitol. The L.A. Times estimated 150,000 protesters took to the streets. While FoxNews reported: "What protest? War on Christmas! 9/11! 9/11!"



Barack Obama has a great opportunity to instill common sense into this debate and solidify his legacy as a champion of human rights and equality. Because in 40 years, intolerance towards gays is going to look pretty foolish. Some might say it already does.

No(bel) Big Deal

How cool is Barack Obama? Barack Obama is so cool he wins Nobel Peace Prizes in his sleep... No seriously. The President was awoken around 6 a.m. this morning to the news he'd won the award. The President says he was both 'surprised' and 'deeply humbled' by the honor. Obama said he would accept the honor as “a call to action,” presumably for all Americans to get out there, roll up their sleeves and win their own Nobel Peace Prizes.



In a related story, the 44th President has also won the National League Cy Young, a Teen Choice Award, a pair of ESPYs, as well as a Best Supporting Actor nomination for "Where the Wild Things Are." Take that, Rio de Janerio!

Barack'd You Like a Hurricane?

Earlier this week, our lord and savior Jesus Christ summoned up the powers of the sea and set in motion a great and vengeful storm, directing it towards the liberal shores of Martha's Vineyard. This wrath of frothy sea and unrelenting winds is due to descend upon Martha's Vineyard on or around the same time as noted granny killer and supposed "President" Barry Barack Obama arrives with his family.



When asked to comment, the voice of God bellowed deeply from the heavens, saying, "There is only one member of the true death panel!"

Oh No She Didn't!

Representative Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX) hosted one of them fancy town hall parties all the other lawmakers get to throw. But things got boring for Sheila when it turned out all these "voters" only wanted to ask "questions." Luckily, the Congresswoman was spared a fate of irreparable boredom when her phone rang. But, instead of acting like a normal human being and ignoring it, she acted like a normal American and answered it. But, instead of saying "hold up, let me call you right back," she actually stayed on the phone.



Did she really disregard a constituent so blatantly? Did she really reinforce the stereotype of lawmakers being selfish fools who really only work to get themselves re-elected? Did she really just broadcast her own indifference on the most important issue in American politics?



Yes, in fact, she did.

Santorum in 2012?

Defeated Senator and noted bigot, Rick Santorum is visiting Iowa today, fueling speculation he will run for President in 2012. You might remember Rick Santorum from when he was a Senator for Pennsylvania and he equated homosexuality with child molestation and bestiality in an interview. And while 2012 is a long ways away, we here at Muck Breaker are predicting a full on race riot/culture war, with the gays and blacks on one side and everyone else on the other, should Santorum somehow secure his party's nomination. (Attica! Attica!)



The gay community took their revenge on Santorum by reassigning his name to define something we don't feel comfortable typing out here, but fine linking to here. (Wow! Well done, gays.) In a weird way, we'd love to see him run (and lose). Because, Rick Santorum is a backwards human being who deserves all the ridicule and failure he's got coming to him.



To further illustrate this point, here is a picture of his daughter crying at his concession speech in 2006.

Miss Information

One of the major roadblocks to the health care debate is misinformation. A large part of this lies squarely on the lawmakers themselves, many of whom have not even read the proposed bill. Really, guys? You each have a staff and office full of interns. We here at Muck Breaker know that your time is precious, what with being right smack in the middle of the Congressional softball season.



Couldn't you spare just a few days and peruse this thing? We know it's long, but if you could please read this thing, you could assuage one of the protesters main concerns... namely that you don't know what you're talking about and/or potentially voting on.



Another source of misinformation has come in the form of outside agitators. Former Governor, and noted moron, Sarah Palin has done wonders for this cause. Recently, Sarah Palin took a moment away from hunting wolves from helicopters and assured her legions of mouth breathing supporters that Obama's health care plan would include death panels. That's right, death panels.



She said, "The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s 'death panel.' Such a system is downright evil." It's worth noting that AARP, the nation's largest senior citizen advocacy group, has endorsed the hell out of this bill. But more importantly, death panels? Really, Sarah Palin? You've sauntered into the most important national debate and offered death panels?



Misinformation aside, there are 46 million uninsured Americans in this, the richest country on the planet. We're not here to say how to change this, but surely something must be done. And while dissent is welcome, lies and fear mongering is not.

Injuries Sustained at Health Care Townhalls Will NOT Be Covered Under Proposed Health Care Plan

In town halls across the country, the debate over health care has gotten spirited. And by debate, we mean fight. And by spirited, we mean buck-ass wild. Let's open wide and take a look, shall we?



The Obama Administration wanted health care legislation passed before the August recess. Of course, that didn't happen. So with Congress on vacay until Labor Day, Dr. Barack has sent his lawmaking minions back to their home bases to sell his forced abortion, sex change, commie, freak out health care bill to the people. The obedient legislators have opened up the floor at town halls in their districts, looking to gauge voters' temperatures. And that's when things started getting weird.



As you might expect, some folks have trotted down to these events and spoken into the microphones before thinking, saying things like, "Get the government out of my Medicare!" But it's not just people in overalls and NASCAR hats, crying socialism. In some places, it's actually gotten violent. Fights have broken out. Lawmakers have been shouted down. Today in Pennsylvania, Arlen Specter was told what his eternal fate would be, and Kathy Castor had to have police escort her out of the building earlier this week in Florida.



And similar scenes of hostile constituents are meeting lawmakers elsewhere. Some legislators have decided to conduct their town halls over the phone, while others are avoiding them altogether. Because, like with health care issues, sometimes it's best just to avoid the problem.