Speaking truth with power.

Friday, October 31, 2008

In the Tank - The Case Against McCain

"Candidate McCain of the past six months has too often seemed the victim of political sorcery, his good features magically inverted, his bad ones exaggerated." - The Economist

John McCain is one of the greatest American heroes this generation will ever know. He has made countless sacrifices to his country, and served as an exemplary legislator. However, the 2008 campaign has shown the American people a different John McCain. We have come to know an ill-tempered, pessimistic, nasty old man who is spiraling toward irrelevance, with almost no discernible solutions on how to make this country great again. John McCain is not fit to serve as President.

In an effort to become President, Mr. McCain has sold out nearly every shred of his once unimpeachable integrity. Employing the tactics, and disciples of, Karl Rove, Mr. McCain has attempted to unleash on his opponent the same politics of fear that undid his own promising bid of 2000. Mr. McCain seems almost allergic to offering his own solutions to the many problems our nation faces, and instead opts to speculate on who his opponent had coffee with 10 years ago. He has campaigned towards people's fears, employing robocalls to broadcast his tawdry message. Mr. McCain has dubbed himself as a "maverick" for his willingness to go against party lines to accomplish what is right. However, in this race, he has only moved further to the right, hoping to rally his reluctant base, all the while alienating the center he used to so comfortably occupy.

And perhaps the most garish example of his rightward trend has been his selection of Sarah Palin as his vice-presidential candidate. Having previously met the Alaska Governor a whole two times, McCain felt confident putting her one 72-year-old heartbeat away from the most important job in the world. Palin has shown herself to be incapable for this position (namely by not being able to define this position). It stands to reason that Mr. McCain chose Mrs. Palin on account of her gender (tapping into potential Hillary holdouts) and her positions on right-wing hot button issues like abortion (tapping into his reluctant base). It is clear that he did not chose Palin with America's best interests at heart. It was a Hail Mary, a shot at the end zone, and it has backfired miserably. Not only has Palin become a liability in this campaign, at times it has appeared that she is running a separate campaign from McCain.

Mr. McCain has shown that he will stop at nothing to get elected. His pursuit of this highest office in the land has led him away from the core values and integrity that once made him great. He has run on the platform of "Country First." Mr. McCain's track record leads us to believe that he would put the 'country first,' but his candidacy leads us to believe that he'll get around to this prioritizing just as soon as he gets elected.

In The Tank - The Case for Obama

"A man who started with no money and few supporters has out-thought, out-organised and outfought the two mightiest machines in American politics—the Clintons and the conservative right." - The Economist

We here at Muck Breaker strive to be as impartial as possible. But after 21 months of campaigning, 4 debates, 2 conventions, and a million talking points, we have finally winnowed down our support to one candidate we believe will best serve our nation for the next 4 years. That candidate is Barry Barack Obama, the next black President of the United States.

In four short years, Barack Obama has gone from relative unknown to political juggernaut. He has raised more money than any previous candidate, with the most sophisticated fund-raising apparatus since Reagan. He has inspired millions of voters domestically, and given hope to our addled allies abroad. Mr. Obama has withstood relentless attacks on his character and past, and in response only elevated the conversation, and by extension the electoral process. In the spring, when Hillary Clinton called into question Mr. Obama's relationship with Reverend Wright, Obama did not hide from the story, but instead delivered the most inspiring speech on race in America since Dr. King had a dream. When both Clinton and McCain endorsed a 'vacation' on gas taxes, Obama instead suggested a 'vacation' from backwards energy policy. He has withstood countless attacks on his character, associations, religion, family and even citizenship with the cool demeanor of a man who is clearly fit to lead.

However, it is on the issue of the Iraq invasion, where Mr. Obama not only made the right decision at a time when almost nobody else did, but also displayed the character necessary to occupy this most-important office. By opposing the unjust invasion of Iraq, Mr. Obama took a wildly unpopular stand, at the risk of wrecking his young political career. Back in 2003, in the Illinois State House, Mr. Obama was asked to cast his vote, and in the opinion of this publication, he cast the right vote. At a time when politicians, journalists, and citizens as a whole were afraid to ask questions or speak up, Obama did. He did not fall in line with Bush's prerogative... as Mr. McCain did. As Mr. Biden did. As Mrs. Clinton did. Barack Obama did not. He stood up and did what was right. It may be one decision. It may be one vote. But it suggests wisdom, and it displays courage. The next President will face countless, unforseen obstacles over the next four years. It is incumbent upon the American people to elect someone who has the temperment to handle them. What Mr. Obama may lack in experience, he certainly makes up for in judgement. After all, the last administration boasted buckets of experience. It was judgement that they lacked.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Is Obama a Socialist?

We all know that Barack Obama is a secret Muslim elitist who wants to paint the white house black, only after giving out free abortions to all illegal gay immigrants, and getting sworn into office on a copy of the Koran. We know that. There's no point in going over all that again. But is he also a Marxist? Is he going to redistribute the wealth? Will my land, property and family be seized and given to welfare mothers and crack addicts once he's elected? The short answer is: 'Yes, most likely.'

But the long, nuanced (read: elitist) answer is: 'Absolutely not. What are you, retarded?' All administrations, be them republican or democrat, redistribute wealth. It's how we have roads, armies and schools. The notion that some Stalinist proletariat is going to rise next January under an Obama administration is ludicrous. The truth is both candidates voted very recently to redistribute wealth. Only it wasn't to the common man or woman, but to the dumbshit bankers that ushered in the current financial crisis we find ourselves in.


Negative Press

A recent study conducted by the Pew Research Center indicates that John McCain is receiving far more negative coverage than his opponent, Barack Obama. Liberal media bias aside, it may be helpful to examine why this might be happening.

For one, the reason McCain is getting so much negative coverage is because he's run a pretty negative, downright nasty campaign. He's accused Obama of teaching sex education to kindergartners, palling around with terrorists and being a Marxist. At Palin's rallies, supporters have shouted out "Nigger," "terrorist," "he's an Arab" and "kill him." But what's worse, she's never said a word to quell that kind of filth.

And we all know about the young McCain supporter in Pittsburgh, who carved a "B" into her face. What you may not have heard was that instead of looking for the facts in this clear case of race baiting 11 days before the election, McCain and Palin called this little liar themselves. And even worse, McCain's camp in Western PA fed local news outlets this story before a formal police report was ever processed.

Furthermore, McCain is just not running a good campaign. By most accounts, and clearly no votes have been counted (or stolen) yet, McCain is going to get whooped. He's alienated his own party and left down-ballot candidates throughout the country up shit's creek without a paddle. Staunch republican pundits from George Will to David Brooks have looked upon his Vice Presidential pick as pessimistic at best. And to that end, it appears as though Palin and McCain are rarely on the same page. His house does not seem to be in order, with his running mate's sights set more on 2012 than on 11/4.

In short, McCain's run a poor campaign, marred by the politics of fear and robocalls. And that's not to say he can't still win. After all, he's running against a black dude with the middle name "Hussein." But it's no coincidence - and certainly no conspiracy - that he's getting so much negative coverage. It would be biased to cover this mess any other way.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Joe in 2010

Joe the Plumber, whose real name is Samuel Wurzelbacher, is mulling over a run for Congress in 2010. Last week, Wurzelbacher told talk show host Laura Ingraham that he was thinking of challenging Democratic Congresswoman Marcy Kaptur in her Toledo area seat in 2010. "I'll tell you what, we'd definitely be in one heck of a fight but, you know, I'd be up for it." On Saturday, he confirmed his intentions in a further interview with Fox News but made clear that he has not yet had talks with Republican leaders in Ohio, who have previously said they would welcome him running.

And why wouldn't he? Aside from the fact that he's in his 14th minute of fame. Couldn't you just see the slogans now? "Rooting out corruption!" "Cleaning out the pipes of government!" "Unclogging the drains of Democracy!"

And as long as people are announcing runs at jobs they are in no way qualified for, I'd like to announce that I too am a plumber, and a dentist, an astronaut and also a third base coach.

Just kidding! I am more than qualified to be a third base coach.

Going Rogue

Sarah Palin is going her own way; going rogue. It is safe to assume that with 2008 slipping away, the Alaska Governor is fixing her (pretty) eyes squarely on 2012. Furthermore, Palin feels like she's been mishandled on this campaign, and her camp has resisted using the talking points provided from the McCain camp. "Recently, she's gone from relying on McCain advisers who were assigned to her to relying on her own instincts," said an unnamed McCain aide. Palin clearly sees herself as the next leader of the party, and is looking to get from under the stench of a presumed McCain defeat. Similarly, McCain and his camp, will look to paint Palin as too divisive, and ultimately responsible for his loss. That is assuming he loses. For the record, it is is still pretty close.

Palin has gone off message previously in this campaign with regard to Reverend Wright, battling for Michigan and robo-calls. It's amazing to think that a VP pick has gone off the reservation in this race, and it's not old Hairplugs Biden.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Flashback - 10/27/04 - Kenosha Edition

There was a full moon on October 27, 2004. That same night the Boston Red Sox were poised to win their first World Series title in 86 years, up 3-0 on the St. Louis Cardinals. And I was spending my third (or fourth) night in Kenosha, Wisconsin. With a little less than a week to go before the election, I'd been sent there as part of a Get-Out-The-Vote effort. Wisconsin was a swing state, and Kerry needed every electoral vote he could get. I spent the week working the phones from the Wisconsin Education Association office, leaving messages, imploring folks to come on out and volunteer. I even got a hold of about 100 email addresses somehow, and sent blast emails with phrases like, "I know you're tired of this shit" and "go out and get hammered next weekend" peppered throughout.

I'd been a baseball fan my entire life. But I welcomed game 4 more as a distraction. I needed something - please God anything - else to watch on TV. I'd been following the race pretty closely since May, both personally and professionally. By late October, I'd become a junkie for cable news; an addict feigning for the newest poll, the latest math. And personally I was a complete wreck, with a girlfriend on either coast, and my sanity lost somewhere in the middle. I remember hearing Gillian Welch's "Look at Miss Ohio" for the first time in my rental car that week, and feeling as though it came close to summing up what I felt. Going to Kenosha seemed like the perfect opportunity to dive head first into the process and out of my own head space.

In Kenosha, I figured I'd at least have a chance to be active. I could do something. I wouldn't have to sit back in liberal San Francisco and watch it all unfold with the other hippies. I could do my part in a state that could very well have determined the outcome. And while John Kerry didn't necessarily inspire, my hatred of Bush seemed to outweigh all other emotions. The man had wrecked our country in ways that would have never seemed plausible if portrayed on a movie screen. He acted with the careless swagger of a rich boy who never faced a single consequence in his life. He'd stolen the 2000 election, and as penance dragged us remorselessly into an unjust war, with seemingly no end in sight. He had to pay. This was not merely an opportunity to elect John Kerry. This was an opportunity to get rid of that dumb fuck the history books would later refer to as George W. Bush.

And my animosity was no longer reserved for just him, but for all those who supported him. This was no longer an election. It was personal. This was an all-out culture war, and they were winning. Even in Kenosha, with the polls leaning, inching, toward Kerry, there was no way to tell who stood where. Even at the Brat Stop, where I watched the first innings of Game 4, I couldn't predict with any certainty which lever these cheeseheads would pull the following Tuesday.

When the check came it was only the fifth inning, and having a sink full of iced Amstels at the hotel, I decided it best to head back to the room and watch the game from there. Three Amstels and two personal calls later, at a little before midnight, the Boston Red Sox were somehow champions of baseball. I opted out of watching them pour champagne on each other and switched over to Fox News for the latest polls. "Jesus Christ! New Jersey's in play now? Maybe Hawaii too? This is going to throw everything off! And were the Red Sox really champions? Was that part dreamt?" It just didn't add up. Too much information, coming way too fast. Nothing would be the same again. Nothing would ever make sense.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Pants on Fire!

Beginning last night the blogosphere has been aflutter with the story of Ashley Todd, a 20-year-old from Texas, who is volunteering in Pittsburgh for McCain. Ashley Todd reported to local officials last night that she was mugged by a "tall black man," presumably named Barack Obama. According to Todd, she gave the mugger roughly $60 in cash. But, when the assailant noticed the McCain bumper sticker on her car, he proceeded to knock her to the ground and carve a "B" in her face.

Only one problem: She made the whole thing up.

The police, presumably secret Muslims themselves, found inconsistencies in Miss Todd's story. Namely, the ATM she claimed to be at showed no video footage of her there at the time in question. Eventually, the elitist Pittsburgh Police force requested Miss Todd to submit to a polygraph test. And while the results of that test have not yet been revealed, Miss Todd herself confessed to fabricating the story shortly thereafter.

What could possibly be gained from a fair white girl getting accosted by a tall black man becoming a national story? Why would anyone make such a story up? And furthermore, how could a story like that possibly alter the current political climate?

She should have carved a C.

An Above Ground Pool Full of Crazy

Republican bigot, and all around hottie, Marcia Stirman has caused quite a controversy this week over her letter, "Why I'm a Republican," that was published in the the Alamogordo Daily News in New Mexico. This letter can be found here, and presumably at Klan meetings throughout the lower 48. CAIR, America's largest Islamic civil liberties group, has asked the GOP to repudiate the letter as the hateful piece of trash that it is.

Do yourself a favor and read the letter. It starts off a little batty, but by the end, the crazy literally jumps off the page.

Hey, toots, I think you want that hand turned a little bit more palm-down, if you know what I mean.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Shopping Spree!

The Republican National Committee has spent a small fortune making-over Sarah Palin and her family. According to Politico, the Vice Presidential nominee has run up tabs at Neiman Marcus, Barneys and Saks to the tune of $150,000.

There should be some sort of scandal here, as she's on the same ticket with that crotchety old man who won't shut up about wasteful, government pork-barrel spending. But, the reality is, she's on a national stage. And as the expression goes, 'you don't dress for the job you have, you dress for the job you want.' So that's fine. That's not really that big of a deal.

What is a big deal, however, is Palin's interpretation of the role of the Vice President, as laid out by the Constitution. In an interview with Univision's Jorge Ramos, Palin said (while wearing a totally kick-ass, red leather jacket) that being Vice President is a great job to have, because one "can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better." Unfortunately, there is no stipulation in the Constitution for the Vice President to have any hand in policy-making. The Vice President is the "presiding officer" of the Senate, and is essentially granted the authority to break a tie when the chamber finds itself deadlocked. That's it. It's one thing to dress for the job you want, but shouldn't every applicant at least know a little something about the job they want?

But, in Palin's defense, this is a post-Dick Cheney America, where a Vice President can act, and legislate, and shoot old men in the face, however he or she sees fit.

What a maverick!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Barack Obama is rooting for the Phillies in the upcoming World Series. However, a couple of days ago, at a rally in Florida, six members of the Tampa Bay Rays came out to support Obama. Obama was so touched by this, he had this to say: "I’ve said from the beginning that I am a unity candidate, bringing people together. So when you see a White Sox Fan showing love to the Rays, and the Rays showing some love back – you know we are on to something right here.”

Earlier today, John McCain called Barack Obama out on this apparent flip-flopping. Speaking to a crowd of factory workers at a manufacturing plant in Pennsylvania, McCain said, "It’s pretty simple really. When he’s campaigning in Philadelphia, he roots for the Phillies, and when he’s campaigning in Tampa Bay, he shows love to the Rays. It’s kind of like the way he campaigns on tax cuts, but then votes for tax increases after he’s elected." (Oh my god! Burn!)

The Obama campaign had this to say: "Senator Obama said he’s rooting for the Phillies. Yesterday he said nice things about the members of the team who came out to support him, but that doesn’t change the fact that Tampa Bay bounced his White Sox out of the playoffs.”

Sarah Palin, upon hearing that Obama is a White Sox fan immediately began linking him to disgraced outfielder, Shoeless Joe Jackson. When pressed how Obama could possibly have any affiliation with a ballplayer who died 10 years before he was born, Palin politely reminded reporters that you can see Russia from Alaska.

Oh, and for the record, this is retarded.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Not Bad

Governor Sarah Palin made an appearance on Saturday Night Live this weekend on both the opening as well as Weekend Update. And, well, she didn't do half bad. The episode drew 14 million vieweers, the best showing for “SNL” since 1994.

Palin was able to stand in there and take a few shots from the likes of Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin and the entire cast of SNL for that matter. Her performance wasn't groundbreaking; it wasn't Janet Reno Dance Party. But she didn't do poorly. She didn't fumble. And for the McCain camp, that's got to feel like a victory.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Powell Endorses Obama

What had been speculated for weeks, became official this morning on Meet the Press. Former Secretary of State, and all around kick-ass American, Colin Powell crossed party lines and endorsed fellow black guy, Barack Obama. Powell said that the junior Senator from Illinois offers a “calm, patient, intellectual, steady approach” to the nation’s problems.

Powell, who considers McCain a close friend, couldn't reconcile the negative tenor the Republican campaign had taken on in recent weeks. “I thought that was over the top,” Mr. Powell told reporters. “It was beyond just good political fighting back and forth.”

Funny. The attack ads seemed to be working so well.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

You Decide!

The picture below is too good for words. Or too good for ours, anyhow. So, we here at Muck Breaker put it to you! Please help decide what is the most appropriate caption for this picture, by leaving your suggestion in the comments field.

(Note to our older readers, please feel free to request assistance on how to "leave" "comments.")

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Third and Final Presidential Debate - Liveblogging

8:58 - Almost time for the third and final presidential debate. Robbie ate too many of his fries up front, and now can't finish his falafel. Mine's gone. Beers have begun to be drilled.

9:00 - Bob Schieffer is our moderator tonight at Hofstra University in Hempstead, NY. Subject is domestic policy.

9:02 - The candidates come to the stage. Schieffer suggests 'no talking points.' Terror washes over the faces of both men.

9:03 - McCain gets the first question about his new economic plan. He answers by saying that Nancy Reagan is in the hospital. He's done this before. He says hello to Senator Obama, but doesn't look at him. He seems tired.

9:05 - Obama's answer suspiciously avoids any mention of Nancy Reagan. (Who is the real Barack Obama?) Middle class this, end corporate tax break that.

9:07 - Bridget's here now. She mentions that Barack's getting a little more gray. Robbie thinks Barack looks like he's always about to get a cold. I think Barack speaks like he's got indigestion. "McCain's totally constipated. Poor guy." - Robbie

9:08 - McCain now retorts Obama's answer, speaking directly to a plumber in Ohio, named Joe. Joe wants the "American Dream." Apparently Obama is opposed to this. McCain is now looking into the camera, speaking directly to Joe; pledges to float him the cash to buy said (plumbing?) business. Joe can even stay in one of McCain's many houses.

9:09 - "Apparently he's been watching too many McCain ads." - Obama. Crowd laughs. Burn?

9:10 - Obama now mentions "Joe the plumber." Tonight's revised debate topic: Joe the plumber.

9:11 - McCain mentions "Joe the plumber" again. Twice. "Joe the plumber" count: 7

9:12 - Joe the plumber has now been said, and I'm not kidding, 9 (NINE!) times.

9:14 - Obama wants to eliminate insurance subsidies... or senior citizens. Either way.

9:16 - McCain mentions what "we did" back in the Great Depression. He remembers cause he was alive then. (I'm saying he's really old.) Schieffer kindly reminds McCain to answer the question about what programs he would cut as President.

9:18 - McCain mentions something called "porkbarrel spending." I'm intrigued to learn more about this porked barrel spending. Why would McCain wait til the third debate to bring this up for the first time?

9:19 - "Maybe he's not constipated. Maybe it's gas. It looks likes he's fighting it." - Bridget.

9:20 - "Senator Obama, I am not President Bush. If you wanted to run against President Bush, you should have run 4 years ago." - McCain. Burn!

9:21 - Girlmate's home!

9:23 - Barry is all 'look, dog. My bad if I mistake you and Bush. You two are like twins, or whatever.'

9:24 - McCain mentions that he has scars.

9:25 - Schieffer wants to know about the negativity in the campaign's ads; baits them to say it to each other's face. They decline.

9:27 - McCain mentions that Obama has spent more money on negative ads than any other candidate in history. That's cause he's got money, son! Get Money! Get paid!

9:28 - Barack maintains that 100% of McCain's ads are untrue.

9:30 - McCain is upset that Obama is attacking his policies. Crimea river, dude.

9:31 - Joe the plumber mentioned again! "Isn't his last name 'six-pack?'" - Girlmate. She just came in.

9:32 - Obama wants to know why Palin didn't interrupt crowd members from calling Barry a 'terrorist' and saying 'kill him.' Fair point, Barry.

9:34 - Obama would also like to point out that he does not, in fact, 'pal around with terrorists.' Wait! Oh my god! Has anyone ever noticed that Obama's name is really close to Osama? Wow! Kind of makes you think, you know?

9:35 - KNIVES OUT, GLOVES OFF. ACORN brought up. Ayers dragged out.

9:36 - Barack says ok, you want to talk about Ayers, let's talk about Ayers. Obama condemns the actions of Ayers, but reminds McCain that he was 8 at the time.

9:37 - Barack wants to clear the air about ACORN now. Getting very elitist with all these 'facts.'

9:38 - When McCain says my campaign is about 'getting the economy on track,' and not about pointing out Obama's associations, Barack openly laughs.

9:40 - The topic is now VP picks, and how the country would be better off if they had to serve as President. Barry gets asked first, but oh man, can you not wait to hear McCain's answer? Barack says how Biden's a really good guy, but you gotta know he's just drooling to hear McCain's answer to this.

9:41 - Quick poll: Will McCain's answer on Palin's readiness to serve as President relate to his time as a P.O.W.?

9:42 - McCain says that Palin is a role model to women. Bridget and Girlmate both puke. McCain says she's a reformer. Presumably a reformer somewhere pukes. McCain wants to bring her in to sweep out the old boys network, which McCain presumably is a part of.

9:44 - Obama is now asked if Palin is qualified to be President. Let's see you tap dance your way around this one, Hopey.

9:49 - Obama says that because we produce 3% of the world's oil, but consume 25% of it, we can't 'drill' our way out of the problem. This math seems elitist. Did Obama not consider that the problem could be solved if we simply 'drilled, baby, drilled' our way out of it? Presumably, not.

9:51 - McCain compliments Obama's eloquence, but it's most likely back handed. I'm pretty sure McCain also mentioned that Barack is also a great dancer, though not necessarily a strong swimmer.

9:53 - We're all bored to tears over here. "Porkbarrel, my friends, POW, earmarks." - McCain. "Change, hope, energy policy." - Obama. "BORING!" - All of us.

9:54 - Obama says the automakers are getting hammered. That makes three of us. Drill, baby, drill, Robbie! Am I right?

9:56 - McCain compares Obama to President Hoover. "Who is Herbert Hoover?" - Bridget. "I don't know, but he sounds black." - Robbie.

9:58 - McCain again suggests that we should put medical records online... you know... except for McCain's medical records. (We'll keep repeating ourselves as long as you do, John.)

9:59 - Joe the plumber is mentioned.... AGAIN!

10:00 - Robbie's McCain impression sounds suspiciously like the Monopoly guy.

10:02 - Joe the plumber mentioned two more times. The count may be 12, maybe 13. There's literally no way of knowing.

10:03 - Joe is mentioned four more times.

10:04 - In between mentions of Joe the Plumber, the candidates are talking about healthcare... maybe. Wait. Joe the plumber mentioned again.

10:07 - Roe v. Wade is the subject. I wonder what Joe the plumber would say about abortion. Oh god. That might be inappropriate.

10:08 - McCain is suddenly pro-life. He just said "Breyer" when he meant "Alito." Big whoop.

10:09 - Obama is pro-choice. His answer is thoughtful, balanced, and suspiciously free of talking points. Answer is lost on millions of Americans.

10:12 - McCain calls Obama 'pro-abortion.'

10:14 - "Dude. Nobody's pro-abortion." - Obama.

10:16 - Schieffer asking his last question. Thank god.

10:18 - Obama answers a question about education, and has yet to mention "Joe the plumber."

10:20 - McCain's answer on education mentions civil rights, New Orleans, as well as the troops. Take that, liberal media!

10:21 - "President Bush enacted No Child Left Behind, but unfortunately the money got left behind." - Obama. BURN!

10:23 - Obama says that someone's gotta pay for all these programs.

10:24 - McCain's going on and on about vouchers. Says 'reform' a bunch of times. Amazing that he hasn't said 'maverick' or 'my friends' yet. Amazing.

10:25 - RedTom's here. It's about time, RedTom. Grab a beer, dude.

10:27 - "My friends" mentioned almost 90 minutes in. This blogger feels like he can finally breathe again.

10:29 - Obama would like everyone to remember that we can't afford four more years of the same failed policies. Mentions this word "change."

10:31 - The closing handshake was maybe the most awkward moment since the Nixon/McGovern handshake/backtap/halfway-hug debacle of '72. McCain said, "Great job" four times in a row. Thank god this is over. Bridget and Girlmate are clamoring for Gossip Girl, and I'm beginning to see their point. Goodnight, folks.

On the Attack

A widening divide exists within the McCain camp, as to how whether or not they should hit Barack Obama on the issue of Reverend Wright. "Wright is off the table," said one top campaign official. "It’s all McCain. He won’t go there. His advisers would have gone there."

Reverend Wright, and Obama's association with him, was the cable news topic dujour for about a month this spring. But then Barack Obama stood up in Philadelphia, and gave what could be regarded as one of the most inspiring speeches on the matter of race and America in recent history. Shortly thereafter, the issue went away. And now, McCain is reluctant to revisit it.

Stymied McCain advisers and other frustrated G.O.P.ers are hoping that an outside organization (think Swift Boat Veterans for Truth) will help to bankroll an effort to bring this association back to light. McCain's own Vice Presidential candidate, and all around loose cannon, Sarah Palin had this to say to the NY Times' Bill Kristol: "I don’t know why that association isn’t discussed more." Yeah, can't say why, Sarah? Because, you know, it worked so well for Hillary.

In fact, no it didn't. Obama took that sound byte of an issue head-on, back in April, and turned it into a real discourse, about a real issue that has troubled this nation since it's inception.

And the recent personal attacks waged by the McCain camp have not worked either. According to a poll released today by CBSNews/NYTimes (LIBERALS!), it has backfired on Mccain. The findings of this totally biased, presumably Jewish, liberal poll found that Obama has opened up a 14 point lead in light of these negative campaigns. Apparently, voters care more about issues, which is what they say Obama's been talking about, than they do about associations, which is what they say McCain has focused on.

Go figure.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Mickey Mouse Type Shit

Today, the St. Petersburg Times reported that Mickey Mouse signed up to vote this summer in Florida. The registration form, which is most likely fraudulent (gotta be, right?), came through stamped with the logo of the nonprofit group ACORN, Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now.

ACORN has come under fire for similar allegations in other swing states of Ohio, Nevada and Indiana, to name a few. If these allegations are true, this soon-to-be-tarnished nonprofit is giving the electoral process a black eye. Furthermore, it is providing ammunition to the G.O.P., as they will surely lay the blame for this at the feet of Barack "I <3 terrorists" Obama.

This stunt, whether perpetrated by an individual or an organization, overshadows the tremendous, and legitimate, voter registration efforts that have taken place this election cycle. And to that end, Muck Breaker would like to strongly condemn any form of election malfeasance; but also concede that it is sort of funny that Republicans are so up in arms about this, especially in Florida.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Don't Call it a Comeback!

John McCain is back! The Senator woke up this morning to the realization that there's 22 days until the election, and he's somewhere between 5-10 percentage points behind front-runner, and occasional terrorist-befriender, Barack H. Obama. (Not to mention roughly 100 electoral votes shy of the magic 270 needed to secure victory.) So today, in a speech in Virginia, McCain unveiled his comeback. Either that, or he suspended not coming back.

"Now, my friends, let me give you the state of the race today (I can't believe he said "race!") and some straight talk," McCain said. "We have 22 days to go. We're six points down. The national media has written us off. Senator Obama is measuring the drapes and planning with Speaker Pelosi and Senator Reid to raise taxes, increase spending — take away your right to vote by secret ballot and labor elections, and concede defeat in Iraq — and concede defeat in Iraq. Our troops — my friends, I won't concede defeat. I'll bring our troops home with victory and with honor."

To which, some bigot in the crowd most likely shouted out the N-word.

And yesterday, at his campaign headquarters in Arlington, VA, McCain actually said that he would "whip" Barack Obama's "you know what" in the next debate.

To which, some bigot in the crowd most likely shouted out the N-word.

Friday, October 10, 2008

What Card Will They Play Next?

Earlier this week, Muck Breaker reported that the tenor of the Presidential campaign had taken on a decidedly negative tone. However, as the week progressed, that tenor went from negative to downright hostile. For the most part, this shift was on the Republican side, and more specifically from their supporters.

And for good reason... the base is furious. With the Obama advantage widening and sure-thing red states suddenly coming into play, Republicans at stump speech after stump speech have literally been asking McCain/Palin to take their gloves off, and save the country from Obama. (Or is it Osama? Man, those names are similar!)

And when we say, Republicans have been asking this of their candidate, we don't mean market research or polls indicate that, we mean they've actually been asking out loud. Crowds at McCain/Palin events this week have been vocally imploring the team of mavericks to do something substantial. Furthermore, when Obama's name is mentioned at rallies, members of the crowd have been heard to shout: Terrorist, Damn Liar, Obama Osama and NoBama.

But despite these incredibly clever and poignant remarks from the riotous mob, little has seemed to have resonated with the McCain camp. At Tuesday night's debate, when given the chance to confront this lying, terrorist, No-Bama character, McCain instead waddled around the stage going on and on about earmarks and saying "my friends" 116 times.

So with around 25 days to play ball before the election, will McCain give into his supporter's fear and anxiety and play the one sure card he's got left: race. Because, let's face it, Barack Obama is a weird name. He was born in Hawaii. And, well, I'm not sure if anyone else has noticed this, but the dude is black. And after a quick trip to wikipedia and Disney World's Hall of Presidents, it "appears" we've never had a black President in this country before.

But would McCain stoop to using the race card? Would his own blind ambition lead him to use the very same underhanded methods that derailed his own promising Presidential bid in 2000?

As we all remember, McCain's Presidential ambitions were left for dead when Karl Rove, working on behalf of George W. Bush, engineered a devastating whisper campaign against him in South Carolina. Rove, and his league of dark minions, purported that McCain had a "secret brown baby" out of wedlock. Of course, this was not true. McCain has an adopted daughter from Bangladesh, Bridget, that he and his wife Cindy were kind enough to take in to their family. But, the race card, backed by misperception and fear, will never be trumped by truth.

So, would McCain use the same race card that undid him 8 years ago?

Many might say: "Yeah, of course he would. Why wouldn't he? This is America, dude. A lot of Americans are totally racist." This might even explain why Sarah Palin wore a white dress while giving a speech in Florida this week, despite the fact that it's been over a month since Labor Day. (Hello?!)

It is also worth noting that Barack Obama's middle name "Hussein" has been mentioned on more than one occasion this week. And by mentioned, we mean shouted for emphasis. Because, really, what could possibly be more frightening than a guy's middle name?

(Hint: the economy)

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

McCain Looks to Cut Wasteful Government Spending

John McCain has said numerous times that he wants to cut wasteful government spending. But up until this point, we've heard little specifics. That is, until now.

As a senator, John McCain voted against a bill that guaranteed women equal pay for equal work done by a man. At first glance, this may seem like another misogynist act from a man who left his first wife while she was in a wheelchair, and called his second wife the c-word. But you'd be dead wrong!

John McCain is just looking out for the American taxpayer. For you see, women in America typically make 77 cents on the dollar. And the office of the Vice President pays $221,000 a year.... to a man anyway. But there is simply no place for that kind of pork-barrel spending in a McCain/Palin adminstration.

By choosing Palin as his running mate, John McCain is basically advocating for her to only make around $171,000 annualy. That's a savings of almost $50,000 a year!

Country First.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The Second Presidential Debate - Liveblogging

8:55 - Robbie's here. We've got an Amy's spinach pizza, case of Yuengling, and the means for sundaes later.

9:01 - Tom Brokaw's getting us started here in Tennessee. The debate is a town hall format, which means the likelihood of talking points is decreased. This will throw the over/under for times "pork barrel spending" is used right out the window. Brokaw looks stoned, but not too stoned.

9:03 - Candidates come to the stage. Robbie and I begin drilling beers.

9:04 - Barry gets the first question. Surprisingly it's about the economy. The crowd looks shocked to see a black guy answering questions at a Presidential debate.

9:06 - McCain's turn. He acknowledges Barack, but doesn't look at him.

9:07 - "Why are there so many white people there?" - Robbie.

9:08 - McCain's first use of "my friends." First minority spotted... aside from Barack.

9:08 - McCain tries to make a joke at Brokaw's expense; fails terribly. Campaign momentarily suspended.

9:09 - McCain mentions eBay. Rumors that the older candidate doesn't know how to use the internets are finally laid to rest.

9:10 - Obama is really close to saying "Main Street." He's really, really close.

9:10 - Pizza's gone. It was delicious. Robbie's now working on vegetarian nuggets.

9:11 - Brokaw, killing his own buzz, reminds the candidates of the rules they agreed upon.

9:12 - McCain answers a question from a young African-American in the gallery, even though there is literally no way this guy will ever vote for him. Ever. "I bet you never even heard of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae." Why? Cause he's black, John McCain? That is not racial transcendence.

9:13 - McCain points out that Obama has received the second most contribution money from Fannie and Freddie in history. Burn.

9:15 - Obama points out that McCain used to brag about being a deregulator. Obama just used the word "reregulate." And now Robbie won't shut up about Warren G.

9:16 - Sweet mustache spotted in the back row of the gallery. Tennessee.

9:22 - First use of "earmarks." And now McCain just said "pork barrel." He's now said it twice. He's tossed in his third "my friends." Oh man! The boards are lighting up!

9:25 - "My friends" count: 5.

9:28 - Brokaw offers a question from the internets. McCain looks like he totally knows what that is.

9:30 - Girlmate's home, and totally salty.

9:32 - Obama's talking about weatherizing your home. We're on our third beer, and bored to tears.

9:35 - McCain's packed a "my friends" and a "he's gonna raise taxes" into the same sentence. What a maverick!

9:36 - McCain mentions Obama's "secret that you don't know." But it's about taxes, and not about the fact that he's a secret Muslim. McCain = coward.

9:38 - "I think the straight-talk express lost a wheel." - Obama. Total burn. "Look! Mustache loves that line!" - Robbie.

9:41 - "It's not that hard to fix Social Security." - McCain. "My friends" count: 8.

9:42 - Pugatch texts from the coast. He's looking to take the over for "my friends." Yeah, you and everybody, pal.

9:44 - "My friends" count: 11.

9:46 - "How awesome would it be if Barack Obama did the moonwalk back to his seat, girlmate?" - Robbie. "I heard you the first time, Robbie." - Girlmate.

9:49 - McCain calls Obama "that one."

9:53 - On the issue of health care, McCain suggests that we should put medical records online.... you know... unless they're his.

9:55 - My Brokaw impression is way better than Robbie's.

9:56 - Obama lays it out there. "Health care is a right." Uses the word 'fundamental' a few times. Barry's flowing now. He's talking about how the health care industry will take advantage of the state-by-state differences if we deregulate. "Look at the credit card industry in Delaware. They've got very loose laws there." Yeah, who's running Delaware anyway? Oh wait.

10:00 - McCain says Obama doesn't understand. Says we don't have time for on the job training... unless it's for Palin.

10:02 - "It's true. There are some things I don't understand. I don't understand how we invaded a country that had nothing to do with 9/11." BURN! BURN! BURN!

10:06 - According to Obama, we can't do much in Darfur cause we're tied up in Iraq. What he doesn't 'understand' is that Darfur hasn't asked for freedom. When they do, we'll bring it.

10:07 - "My friends" count: 14.

10:08 - McCain says America's most precious resource is blood.

10:14 - Obama uses the "Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran!" line. Someone save a room in the burn unit.

10:16 - McCain says he can get Osama bin Laden. (Apparently after he fixes social security.) But he's not going to telegraph his punches. Telegraph? Is that some ancient form of g-chatting? What's a matter, McCain? Have you misplaced your carrier pigeons? What I'm trying to say here is he's old.

10:23 - Obama is asked a question about Russia. But instead he's talking about energy. He's saying something about how energy independence can change dynamics with oil-rich countries. Answer the question, you flip flopper!

10:26 - 'League of Democracies' is mentioned again. This league will not be taken seriously until it is represented in a weekly animated TV series. That's just Political Science 101.

10:30 - Final question. Candidates are asked what they don't know and how they'd go about learning it. Obama answers: "Why don't you ask my wife?" Guys, am I right?

10:34 - McCain answers that his father was an absentee admiral. (Poor little lamb.) He mentions this "tiller" again. Ends with the words "Country First."

10:35 - Brokaw: "You're in the way of my script I'm trying to read." Brokaw the bonghit is getting a little testy, and obviously jonesing for another toke.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Gloves Off, Knives Out

Since the weekend, both campaigns have come out swinging at each other. With less than 30 days left until November 4, both camps are throwing everything they've got at the other, hoping that something sticks.

Sarah Palin, the maverick, took a shot at Barack Obama's connections with Bill Ayers, formerly of the terrorist group, Weather Underground. Palin was quoted this weekend as saying anyone who "pals around" with terrorists couldn't possibly be our next President.

In the 1960s, when Barack Obama was eight, Ayers sent bombs to the Capitol and Pentagon in protest of the Vietnam War. There are no known casualties or injuries from these explosives. In recent years Ayers has said, "The one thing I don't regret is opposing the war in Vietnam with every ounce of my being."

Between 2000 and 2002, Obama and Ayers served on an educational reform board in Chicago. The two have had little to no contact since that time. Obama has since condemned the violent acts of Ayers and Weather Underground.

The Obama campaign, refusing to let McCain/Palin have all the mudslinging fun, took to the airwaves themselves, decrying McCain's involvement in the infamous Keating Five corruption scandal of 1989. (It was him and four other guys.) At the heart of this scandal was the collapse of Lincoln Savings and Loan, which cost the American taxpayer $2 billion. Additionally, 23,000 Lincoln bondholders, mostly the elderly, lost their life savings.

The Obama campaign has released a 13-minute documentary outlining in no uncertain terms McCain's involvement with the Keating Five. The hope being that the current post-Bailout climate will cast a poor light on the McCain campaign.

And so with 29 days to go, the two campaigns are basically asking the American voter which words they find more offensive: 'pals around with terrorists' or 'collapsed financial institutions'?

Friday, October 3, 2008

Pulling Out of Michigan

This week, the McCain camp pulled up the stakes in its campaign for Michigan votes. Once considered a battleground, or swing state, the McCain camp is basically conceding the Automotive State, and her 17 electoral votes, to Barack. The GOP candidate feels his resources can be better used in states like Wisconsin, Minnesota and Maine.

All of which came as a real bummer to McCain's running mate Sarah Palin. “I want to get back to Michigan, and I want to try,” Palin said in an interview on Fox News. “Todd and I, we'd be happy to get to Michigan."

She first heard the news this morning and fired off a quick e-mail to campaign officials expressing her displeasure with the move.

“Oh c’mon, do we have to?” Palin said she wrote.....

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wish I could say I made that last part up. But I didn't.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Vice Presidential Debate - Liveblogging

8:55 - Robbie and I arrive at Bridget's for the debate. Falafel, fries and a (Joe) six-pack of Yuengling in tow, we are ready to rumble.

9:00 - It begins. Gwen Ifill gives her opening remarks, donning a lovely turquoise jacket that I'm pretty sure my mom also owns.

9:02 - Candidates take to the stage. Sarah Palin looks totally hot, and asks Biden if she can call him "Joe."

9:05 - Sarah Palin urges Americans to go to child's soccer game if they want to get a sense of what's on the voter's minds. She actually doesn't sound like an idiot, but does seem a little nervous.

9:07 - Seven minutes in, little to no crazy

9:08 - Palin winks at the camera. Seriously.

9:09 - Ifill points out that neither candidate has answered her question.

9:10 - Palin's first mention of 'hockey moms' and 'Joe six-pack.'

9:12 - Biden totally looks like "Sam the Eagle."

9:14 - Palin actually just said she doesn't have to answer the moderator's questions about deregulation. She actually said that.

9:21 - Biden just called McCain's health care plan the "ultimate bridge to nowhere." BURN!

9:23 - At present, Palin has said 'darn' twice, and 'bless their hearts' once.

9:27 - Robbie is killing his PalinBingo(TM) board.

9:29 - Joe Biden is more than likely pumped up on Quaaludes. There can be no other explanation why he hasn't ripped the lid off of his Delaware brand of home-made crazy.

9:31 - Has anyone ever noticed that Sarah Palin looks like Tina Fey?

9:38 - Gay rights issues is brought up. They're both for gays, but against them getting married. Palin might know a gay. Or she knows somebody, who knows a gay. Maybe. AWKWARD!!!

9:40 - "I bet she likes to get surged." Grow up, Robbie.

9:44 - The issue is Iraq and things are getting testy. The candidates are bickering over the timetable again. Palin says Obama wants to wave a 'white flag.' Biden flashes those pearly whites. My god, those teeth are huge!

9:48 - Issue is now Iran, and Palin is crushing her Ahmadinejad pronunciation.

9:52 - Joe Biden has now said "Joe Biden" six times.

9:58 - Biden retorts Palin's comments about Afghanistan by saying, "Facts matter, Gwen." How elitist. Also says, "Joe Biden" again. We're at seven.

10:03 - Palin mentions that she's a Washington outsider. It's unclear if this is true or not, and will have to be Googled.

10:06 - Palin says that McCain knows how to win a war, cause we totally kicked the shit out of those Vietcongs. (USA! USA!)

10:09 - Palin has now winked twice.

10:11 - Biden invites Americans to come to Home Depot with him. "Man, I would love to go to Home Depot with Joe Biden." - Robbie.

10:12 - Palin wink count: 3

10:16 - Amazingly, Biden has yet to use the c-word.

10:20 - 80 minutes in, Biden mentions his dead wife.

10:24 - Biden would like the American people to know that McCain is no Maverick. This contradicts sharply, however, with literally thousands of GOP ads, and almost every Republican speech since St. Paul.

10:29 - Palin closes by taking one more shot at the mainstream media. Furthermore, she is now and always has been proud to be an American.

10:31 - Biden closes by telling Ifill he can't wait to read her book, uses the word fundamental for the 83rd time, and says to Palin, "Nice to meet you, toots. See you next Tuesday."

Tonight's the Night!

It's finally here: The Vice Presidential Debate! Can you feel it? Are you all fired up? There's simply no way to handicap this one. There's just no way to anticipate what could be said on stage tonight in Missouri. Let's take a look at the fight card.

He's a six-term Senator, who has never met a foot he didn't like the taste of....

She's a second-year Governor, who doesn't believe in dinosaurs....

Tonight. 9 p.m. Crazy meets crazy. Don't miss it!