Is Obama a Socialist?

We all know that Barack Obama is a secret Muslim elitist who wants to paint the white house black, only after giving out free abortions to all illegal gay immigrants, and getting sworn into office on a copy of the Koran. We know that. There's no point in going over all that again. But is he also a Marxist? Is he going to redistribute the wealth? Will my land, property and family be seized and given to welfare mothers and crack addicts once he's elected? The short answer is: 'Yes, most likely.'



But the long, nuanced (read: elitist) answer is: 'Absolutely not. What are you, retarded?' All administrations, be them republican or democrat, redistribute wealth. It's how we have roads, armies and schools. The notion that some Stalinist proletariat is going to rise next January under an Obama administration is ludicrous. The truth is both candidates voted very recently to redistribute wealth. Only it wasn't to the common man or woman, but to the dumbshit bankers that ushered in the current financial crisis we find ourselves in.

USA! USA!