The Third and Final Presidential Debate - Liveblogging
8:58 - Almost time for the third and final presidential debate. Robbie ate too many of his fries up front, and now can't finish his falafel. Mine's gone. Beers have begun to be drilled.
9:00 - Bob Schieffer is our moderator tonight at Hofstra University in Hempstead, NY. Subject is domestic policy.
9:02 - The candidates come to the stage. Schieffer suggests 'no talking points.' Terror washes over the faces of both men.
9:03 - McCain gets the first question about his new economic plan. He answers by saying that Nancy Reagan is in the hospital. He's done this before. He says hello to Senator Obama, but doesn't look at him. He seems tired.
9:05 - Obama's answer suspiciously avoids any mention of Nancy Reagan. (Who is the real Barack Obama?) Middle class this, end corporate tax break that.
9:07 - Bridget's here now. She mentions that Barack's getting a little more gray. Robbie thinks Barack looks like he's always about to get a cold. I think Barack speaks like he's got indigestion. "McCain's totally constipated. Poor guy." - Robbie
9:08 - McCain now retorts Obama's answer, speaking directly to a plumber in Ohio, named Joe. Joe wants the "American Dream." Apparently Obama is opposed to this. McCain is now looking into the camera, speaking directly to Joe; pledges to float him the cash to buy said (plumbing?) business. Joe can even stay in one of McCain's many houses.
9:09 - "Apparently he's been watching too many McCain ads." - Obama. Crowd laughs. Burn?
9:10 - Obama now mentions "Joe the plumber." Tonight's revised debate topic: Joe the plumber.
9:11 - McCain mentions "Joe the plumber" again. Twice. "Joe the plumber" count: 7
9:12 - Joe the plumber has now been said, and I'm not kidding, 9 (NINE!) times.
9:14 - Obama wants to eliminate insurance subsidies... or senior citizens. Either way.
9:16 - McCain mentions what "we did" back in the Great Depression. He remembers cause he was alive then. (I'm saying he's really old.) Schieffer kindly reminds McCain to answer the question about what programs he would cut as President.
9:18 - McCain mentions something called "porkbarrel spending." I'm intrigued to learn more about this porked barrel spending. Why would McCain wait til the third debate to bring this up for the first time?
9:19 - "Maybe he's not constipated. Maybe it's gas. It looks likes he's fighting it." - Bridget.
9:20 - "Senator Obama, I am not President Bush. If you wanted to run against President Bush, you should have run 4 years ago." - McCain. Burn!
9:21 - Girlmate's home!
9:23 - Barry is all 'look, dog. My bad if I mistake you and Bush. You two are like twins, or whatever.'
9:24 - McCain mentions that he has scars.
9:25 - Schieffer wants to know about the negativity in the campaign's ads; baits them to say it to each other's face. They decline.
9:27 - McCain mentions that Obama has spent more money on negative ads than any other candidate in history. That's cause he's got money, son! Get Money! Get paid!
9:28 - Barack maintains that 100% of McCain's ads are untrue.
9:30 - McCain is upset that Obama is attacking his policies. Crimea river, dude.
9:31 - Joe the plumber mentioned again! "Isn't his last name 'six-pack?'" - Girlmate. She just came in.
9:32 - Obama wants to know why Palin didn't interrupt crowd members from calling Barry a 'terrorist' and saying 'kill him.' Fair point, Barry.
9:34 - Obama would also like to point out that he does not, in fact, 'pal around with terrorists.' Wait! Oh my god! Has anyone ever noticed that Obama's name is really close to Osama? Wow! Kind of makes you think, you know?
9:35 - KNIVES OUT, GLOVES OFF. ACORN brought up. Ayers dragged out.
9:36 - Barack says ok, you want to talk about Ayers, let's talk about Ayers. Obama condemns the actions of Ayers, but reminds McCain that he was 8 at the time.
9:37 - Barack wants to clear the air about ACORN now. Getting very elitist with all these 'facts.'
9:38 - When McCain says my campaign is about 'getting the economy on track,' and not about pointing out Obama's associations, Barack openly laughs.
9:40 - The topic is now VP picks, and how the country would be better off if they had to serve as President. Barry gets asked first, but oh man, can you not wait to hear McCain's answer? Barack says how Biden's a really good guy, but you gotta know he's just drooling to hear McCain's answer to this.
9:41 - Quick poll: Will McCain's answer on Palin's readiness to serve as President relate to his time as a P.O.W.?
9:42 - McCain says that Palin is a role model to women. Bridget and Girlmate both puke. McCain says she's a reformer. Presumably a reformer somewhere pukes. McCain wants to bring her in to sweep out the old boys network, which McCain presumably is a part of.
9:44 - Obama is now asked if Palin is qualified to be President. Let's see you tap dance your way around this one, Hopey.
9:49 - Obama says that because we produce 3% of the world's oil, but consume 25% of it, we can't 'drill' our way out of the problem. This math seems elitist. Did Obama not consider that the problem could be solved if we simply 'drilled, baby, drilled' our way out of it? Presumably, not.
9:51 - McCain compliments Obama's eloquence, but it's most likely back handed. I'm pretty sure McCain also mentioned that Barack is also a great dancer, though not necessarily a strong swimmer.
9:53 - We're all bored to tears over here. "Porkbarrel, my friends, POW, earmarks." - McCain. "Change, hope, energy policy." - Obama. "BORING!" - All of us.
9:54 - Obama says the automakers are getting hammered. That makes three of us. Drill, baby, drill, Robbie! Am I right?
9:56 - McCain compares Obama to President Hoover. "Who is Herbert Hoover?" - Bridget. "I don't know, but he sounds black." - Robbie.
9:58 - McCain again suggests that we should put medical records online... you know... except for McCain's medical records. (We'll keep repeating ourselves as long as you do, John.)
9:59 - Joe the plumber is mentioned.... AGAIN!
10:00 - Robbie's McCain impression sounds suspiciously like the Monopoly guy.
10:02 - Joe the plumber mentioned two more times. The count may be 12, maybe 13. There's literally no way of knowing.
10:03 - Joe is mentioned four more times.
10:04 - In between mentions of Joe the Plumber, the candidates are talking about healthcare... maybe. Wait. Joe the plumber mentioned again.
10:07 - Roe v. Wade is the subject. I wonder what Joe the plumber would say about abortion. Oh god. That might be inappropriate.
10:08 - McCain is suddenly pro-life. He just said "Breyer" when he meant "Alito." Big whoop.
10:09 - Obama is pro-choice. His answer is thoughtful, balanced, and suspiciously free of talking points. Answer is lost on millions of Americans.
10:12 - McCain calls Obama 'pro-abortion.'
10:14 - "Dude. Nobody's pro-abortion." - Obama.
10:16 - Schieffer asking his last question. Thank god.
10:18 - Obama answers a question about education, and has yet to mention "Joe the plumber."
10:20 - McCain's answer on education mentions civil rights, New Orleans, as well as the troops. Take that, liberal media!
10:21 - "President Bush enacted No Child Left Behind, but unfortunately the money got left behind." - Obama. BURN!
10:23 - Obama says that someone's gotta pay for all these programs.
10:24 - McCain's going on and on about vouchers. Says 'reform' a bunch of times. Amazing that he hasn't said 'maverick' or 'my friends' yet. Amazing.
10:25 - RedTom's here. It's about time, RedTom. Grab a beer, dude.
10:27 - "My friends" mentioned almost 90 minutes in. This blogger feels like he can finally breathe again.
10:29 - Obama would like everyone to remember that we can't afford four more years of the same failed policies. Mentions this word "change."
10:31 - The closing handshake was maybe the most awkward moment since the Nixon/McGovern handshake/backtap/halfway-hug debacle of '72. McCain said, "Great job" four times in a row. Thank god this is over. Bridget and Girlmate are clamoring for Gossip Girl, and I'm beginning to see their point. Goodnight, folks.