Speaking truth with power.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Vice Presidential Debate - Liveblogging

8:55 - Robbie and I arrive at Bridget's for the debate. Falafel, fries and a (Joe) six-pack of Yuengling in tow, we are ready to rumble.

9:00 - It begins. Gwen Ifill gives her opening remarks, donning a lovely turquoise jacket that I'm pretty sure my mom also owns.

9:02 - Candidates take to the stage. Sarah Palin looks totally hot, and asks Biden if she can call him "Joe."

9:05 - Sarah Palin urges Americans to go to child's soccer game if they want to get a sense of what's on the voter's minds. She actually doesn't sound like an idiot, but does seem a little nervous.

9:07 - Seven minutes in, little to no crazy

9:08 - Palin winks at the camera. Seriously.

9:09 - Ifill points out that neither candidate has answered her question.

9:10 - Palin's first mention of 'hockey moms' and 'Joe six-pack.'

9:12 - Biden totally looks like "Sam the Eagle."

9:14 - Palin actually just said she doesn't have to answer the moderator's questions about deregulation. She actually said that.

9:21 - Biden just called McCain's health care plan the "ultimate bridge to nowhere." BURN!

9:23 - At present, Palin has said 'darn' twice, and 'bless their hearts' once.

9:27 - Robbie is killing his PalinBingo(TM) board.

9:29 - Joe Biden is more than likely pumped up on Quaaludes. There can be no other explanation why he hasn't ripped the lid off of his Delaware brand of home-made crazy.

9:31 - Has anyone ever noticed that Sarah Palin looks like Tina Fey?

9:38 - Gay rights issues is brought up. They're both for gays, but against them getting married. Palin might know a gay. Or she knows somebody, who knows a gay. Maybe. AWKWARD!!!

9:40 - "I bet she likes to get surged." Grow up, Robbie.

9:44 - The issue is Iraq and things are getting testy. The candidates are bickering over the timetable again. Palin says Obama wants to wave a 'white flag.' Biden flashes those pearly whites. My god, those teeth are huge!

9:48 - Issue is now Iran, and Palin is crushing her Ahmadinejad pronunciation.

9:52 - Joe Biden has now said "Joe Biden" six times.

9:58 - Biden retorts Palin's comments about Afghanistan by saying, "Facts matter, Gwen." How elitist. Also says, "Joe Biden" again. We're at seven.

10:03 - Palin mentions that she's a Washington outsider. It's unclear if this is true or not, and will have to be Googled.

10:06 - Palin says that McCain knows how to win a war, cause we totally kicked the shit out of those Vietcongs. (USA! USA!)

10:09 - Palin has now winked twice.

10:11 - Biden invites Americans to come to Home Depot with him. "Man, I would love to go to Home Depot with Joe Biden." - Robbie.

10:12 - Palin wink count: 3

10:16 - Amazingly, Biden has yet to use the c-word.

10:20 - 80 minutes in, Biden mentions his dead wife.

10:24 - Biden would like the American people to know that McCain is no Maverick. This contradicts sharply, however, with literally thousands of GOP ads, and almost every Republican speech since St. Paul.

10:29 - Palin closes by taking one more shot at the mainstream media. Furthermore, she is now and always has been proud to be an American.

10:31 - Biden closes by telling Ifill he can't wait to read her book, uses the word fundamental for the 83rd time, and says to Palin, "Nice to meet you, toots. See you next Tuesday."


Anonymous Turd Furguson said...

Turd Ferguson. Funny name.

October 3, 2008 at 4:55 PM


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