More Like Failout

Yesterday, on Capitol Hill, (once known as Jenkins Hill), the neas took down the $700 billion bailout package by a 228-205 spread. Both parties were quick to point fingers and lay the blame squarely on the other side of the aisle. Meanwhile, up on Wall Street, the Dow took a dump to the tune of a 777 point loss.



There are many reasons this bailout didn't pass yesterday. For one, these clowns are all up for re-election in a few weeks, and not about to put the American people's best interests above their own continued employment. It wouldn't be smart, politically speaking.

And even if they did have the American people's best interests at heart - which they don't - it's not as though they could do much to fix the broken economy. For you see, our elected officials are morons, and therefore can't fix much. These guys couldn't fix a boxing match. Hell, I'd be shocked if they could fix me a drink.



But, on a day full of ineptitude and all around douchebaggery, one individual stood above the rest. Meet Jerry Weller (R-IL). Jerry didn't even bother to show up and vote yesterday. Good one, guy. This was maybe the most crucial piece of legislation since the PATRIOT Act, and you were on the golf course? I think everyone can agree that no matter who foots the bill for this bailout, that Jerry here should at least lose his job.