The Second Presidential Debate - Liveblogging
8:55 - Robbie's here. We've got an Amy's spinach pizza, case of Yuengling, and the means for sundaes later.
9:01 - Tom Brokaw's getting us started here in Tennessee. The debate is a town hall format, which means the likelihood of talking points is decreased. This will throw the over/under for times "pork barrel spending" is used right out the window. Brokaw looks stoned, but not too stoned.
9:03 - Candidates come to the stage. Robbie and I begin drilling beers.
9:04 - Barry gets the first question. Surprisingly it's about the economy. The crowd looks shocked to see a black guy answering questions at a Presidential debate.
9:06 - McCain's turn. He acknowledges Barack, but doesn't look at him.
9:07 - "Why are there so many white people there?" - Robbie.
9:08 - McCain's first use of "my friends." First minority spotted... aside from Barack.
9:08 - McCain tries to make a joke at Brokaw's expense; fails terribly. Campaign momentarily suspended.
9:09 - McCain mentions eBay. Rumors that the older candidate doesn't know how to use the internets are finally laid to rest.
9:10 - Obama is really close to saying "Main Street." He's really, really close.
9:10 - Pizza's gone. It was delicious. Robbie's now working on vegetarian nuggets.
9:11 - Brokaw, killing his own buzz, reminds the candidates of the rules they agreed upon.
9:12 - McCain answers a question from a young African-American in the gallery, even though there is literally no way this guy will ever vote for him. Ever. "I bet you never even heard of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae." Why? Cause he's black, John McCain? That is not racial transcendence.
9:13 - McCain points out that Obama has received the second most contribution money from Fannie and Freddie in history. Burn.
9:15 - Obama points out that McCain used to brag about being a deregulator. Obama just used the word "reregulate." And now Robbie won't shut up about Warren G.
9:16 - Sweet mustache spotted in the back row of the gallery. Tennessee.
9:22 - First use of "earmarks." And now McCain just said "pork barrel." He's now said it twice. He's tossed in his third "my friends." Oh man! The boards are lighting up!
9:25 - "My friends" count: 5.
9:28 - Brokaw offers a question from the internets. McCain looks like he totally knows what that is.
9:30 - Girlmate's home, and totally salty.
9:32 - Obama's talking about weatherizing your home. We're on our third beer, and bored to tears.
9:35 - McCain's packed a "my friends" and a "he's gonna raise taxes" into the same sentence. What a maverick!
9:36 - McCain mentions Obama's "secret that you don't know." But it's about taxes, and not about the fact that he's a secret Muslim. McCain = coward.
9:38 - "I think the straight-talk express lost a wheel." - Obama. Total burn. "Look! Mustache loves that line!" - Robbie.
9:41 - "It's not that hard to fix Social Security." - McCain. "My friends" count: 8.
9:42 - Pugatch texts from the coast. He's looking to take the over for "my friends." Yeah, you and everybody, pal.
9:44 - "My friends" count: 11.
9:46 - "How awesome would it be if Barack Obama did the moonwalk back to his seat, girlmate?" - Robbie. "I heard you the first time, Robbie." - Girlmate.
9:49 - McCain calls Obama "that one."
9:53 - On the issue of health care, McCain suggests that we should put medical records online.... you know... unless they're his.
9:55 - My Brokaw impression is way better than Robbie's.
9:56 - Obama lays it out there. "Health care is a right." Uses the word 'fundamental' a few times. Barry's flowing now. He's talking about how the health care industry will take advantage of the state-by-state differences if we deregulate. "Look at the credit card industry in Delaware. They've got very loose laws there." Yeah, who's running Delaware anyway? Oh wait.
10:00 - McCain says Obama doesn't understand. Says we don't have time for on the job training... unless it's for Palin.
10:02 - "It's true. There are some things I don't understand. I don't understand how we invaded a country that had nothing to do with 9/11." BURN! BURN! BURN!
10:06 - According to Obama, we can't do much in Darfur cause we're tied up in Iraq. What he doesn't 'understand' is that Darfur hasn't asked for freedom. When they do, we'll bring it.
10:07 - "My friends" count: 14.
10:08 - McCain says America's most precious resource is blood.
10:14 - Obama uses the "Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran!" line. Someone save a room in the burn unit.
10:16 - McCain says he can get Osama bin Laden. (Apparently after he fixes social security.) But he's not going to telegraph his punches. Telegraph? Is that some ancient form of g-chatting? What's a matter, McCain? Have you misplaced your carrier pigeons? What I'm trying to say here is he's old.
10:23 - Obama is asked a question about Russia. But instead he's talking about energy. He's saying something about how energy independence can change dynamics with oil-rich countries. Answer the question, you flip flopper!
10:26 - 'League of Democracies' is mentioned again. This league will not be taken seriously until it is represented in a weekly animated TV series. That's just Political Science 101.
10:30 - Final question. Candidates are asked what they don't know and how they'd go about learning it. Obama answers: "Why don't you ask my wife?" Guys, am I right?
10:34 - McCain answers that his father was an absentee admiral. (Poor little lamb.) He mentions this "tiller" again. Ends with the words "Country First."
10:35 - Brokaw: "You're in the way of my script I'm trying to read." Brokaw the bonghit is getting a little testy, and obviously jonesing for another toke.