Our Bad!

Yesterday, the United States Senate, acting about 400 years too late, formally apologized to African Americans for slavery and Jim Crow. Maybe, they realized that the Obama guy was black, or maybe someone told them that the very chamber they were sitting and legislating in was built by slaves. But in any event, Congress took a look at the history of forced capture, indentured service, cultural genocide, sexual perversions, selective breeding techniques, torture, lynching, segregation, and hell maybe even those mean-ass dogs they used to use in the 50s and 60s, and sheepishly said, "we're sorry."



Maybe next we could acknowledge that utilizing a free labor force for 300 years was what gave us that "American ingenuity" we hear about all the time. Maybe we can stop deluding ourselves into thinking that "can-do" spirit is anything more than not paying dudes to toil in the fields for a couple of centuries. Hell, maybe we could even stop calling Elvis the King of Rock and Roll, and thank blacks for creating our nation's signature art form.



Oh hey, and this is crazy, but what if we kept going on this whole tip. We could apologize to the Chinese for forcing them to make our railroads. We could apologize to Mexico for grabbing half of their country, and then acting pissed when they try to cross the border back in.



We could even apologize to the Native Americans for that whole systematic, continent-wide killing spree we went on at their expense.... Nah! I'm just kidding. Fuck those guys! Am I right?