Happy Birthday, Liar!

On this day in 1961, secret Muslim, elitist, cigarette-smoking, communist President Barry Barack Hussein Obama was allegedly "born." So called "certificates" and "documents" supposedly "prove" that this "birth" took place in Hawaii. And these "official records" are further verified by the state "of" Hawaii and the Republican Governor "Linda " Lingle.



But, is a certified birth certificate endorsed by a sitting Governor from the opposite political party good enough to prove that B. HUSSEIN Obama was born at all, let alone in America? According to a group of mouth-breathing, inbred, sore-losing, ignorant bigots, or "birthers," the answer is no. In their twisted, gin-soaked minds, the President is ducking the issue by NOT going door-to-door with his birth certificate and/or forwarding the YouTube video of his slick infant head traveling through his mother's birth canal.



After all, the practice of sitting Presidents providing their birth certificate on demand to a small, half-literate, ultimately insignificant faction of the losing party dates back to... well, never. Regardless, this bloc of 'Mericans contend that since there is no proof (except for the aforementioned authenticated birth certificate) that Barry is a citizen, his (landslide) election was illegitimate, and therefore he should be stripped of his office. "We want," the birthers go on to say at any townhall, NASCAR event, or blog comment section, "our country back!"