Speaking truth with power.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Day 3 in St. Paul - Who's That Lady?

Day 3 in St. Paul brought us a few blasts from the campaign trail past, as well as America's introduction to the most experienced politician in our nation's history, Sarah Palin.

Mitt Romney was the first big speaker of the night. The former governor, and bizarre underwear owner, took to the stage, and really tried to impress upon the crowd that he looks a lot like Ronald Reagan. Oh! And that John McCain is totally capable of being President, even though old Mittens kind of hates the guy, and vice versa. Romney implored the crowd to elect John McCain in order to "keep pornography out of our schools." Because, you know.... that's the main problem facing this country. One thing for certain, however, is Mitt Romney remains a silver haired-sideburned hunk, who is more than a little bit dreamy.

Next up on the 2008 Republican Primary Season Greatest Hits tour was old Mike Huckabee. Huckabee came out swinging, taking shots at Madonna and her outfit changes, and praising Elvis Presley and how popular he is. But the relevance didn't stop there. Huckabee reminded the primarily older, white, pro-life crowd, that John McCain and Sarah Palin were Republicans, and they were of the Party that cared about the sanctity of all human life.... unless of course that life is from New Orleans.

Oh and it didn't stop there. Because you couldn't have a night of rehashing old candidates for the Republican nomination without old Rudy "Did you know I was the mayor of New York City during 9/11?" Guiliani. Rudy came out on the attack for John McCain and Sarah Palin. He got the crowd all fired up by reminding the crowd that two Senators such as Obama and Biden have ZERO executive experience. He didn't seem to couple in John McCain's lack of executive experience in his tirade, but that's cool. Rudy also got quite emotional when defending Sarah Palin. He got downright misty-eyed when saying that if a man were running for office the media wouldn't question how he'd handle the duties of family. Rudy mioght as well have thrown one fist in the air and cried out, "Where my sisters at?" Because once again, he solidified himself as America's greatest champion of women's rights. One thing suspiciously missing from the former mayor's speech was mentions of "9/11." Rudy only said it once. Once. Suffice to say I was once again defeated in my word usage pool, with the over/under set at 4, and this commentator staying with the over. Standing on the convention floor, I could have sworn I heard Rudy shout "9/11! 9/11!" where most speakers say "God Bless America." But those allegations could not be confirmed.

But the boys were not the reason anybody's talking today. The boys were not the headliner of the night. The true higlight of Day 3 was Vice Presidential nominee, Sarah Palin. The governor of Alaska took to the stage and introduced herself to the American people. She apologized for not meeting us sooner, but unfortunately was just so darn busy being experienced. And in her speech, the lady from the frosty north came out with her guns blazing. A self-described pitbull in lipstick, Palin went after the experience of Barack "secret Muslim" Obama as a community organizer, (whatever that means). She spoke to the crowd about how she's the one with executive experience, and how she's the one who has cut big government in her small state. Palin mentioned firing her chef and selling the former Governor's private jet on eBay. (eBay?! My god! She's adorable!) Sarah Palin also took on those hacks in the liberal media and let them know she doesn't really care what they think of her. Sarah Palin isn't in this race to win their favor. Sarah Palin is in this thing to help the American people. So there!

In all honesty, Sarah Palin crushed this speaking engagement. For somebody who was relatively unknown two weeks ago, she took to a national stage, proving both humorous and effective. Sure there was more ham, than real meat and potatoes. But at the end of the day, this crowd was ecstatic, and the Republican base was no doubt energized.


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