Day 2 in St. Paul - Knives Out

With Hurricane Gustav fading away, the Grand Old Party got right back into the swing of things here in St. Paul on Tuesday. With an exciting lineup that included such scintillating headliners as Joe Lieberman and Fred (OMG) Thompson, the Republicans were surely in for a big night. Laura Bush even came back out on the stage, introducing her husband, and occasional President, George W. Bush.



Apparently the relief efforts taking place on the Gulf Coast, which kept the President from appearing Monday night, had been shifted to the Rose Garden, where Bush's via satellite statement took place. The President's Watergate-level approval ratings, though, probably had nothing to do with his arm's length appearance.

But W. was just the beginning. Fred Thompson - who let's be honest was more than likely drunk on stage - also spoke. And with his classic Southern drawl, chastised the Beltway insiders and liberal media as only a former Senator and famous Hollywood actor can really do. Thompson went on to praise the pick of Sarah Palin as Vice President, saying she'd probably be the only candidate in history who could properly field dress a moose. This comment initially insulted this commentator. But Mr. Thompson quickly corrected himself, adding 26th President, and long-time friend of Muck Breaker, Teddy Roosevelt, to this list of moose field dressing distinction.



But it didn't end there. Joseph Lieberman (I-CT) took to the stage, not only to betray his party, but more importantly to talk about what a good dude John McCain is. And seeing how this correspondent didn't completely pass out at the sound of Lieberman's voice, one would have to take away that this speech was an unqualified success. Lieberman got so bold as to even praise the Clinton administration for reaching out across the aisle to gain results. The stunned audience, no doubt still confused as to how a Jew made his way to the podium, had little choice but to applaud the achievements of Bill Clinton and his administration.



However, when the name of Barack Obama was uttered by Lieberman, the crowd reacted markedly more negative. The boos were followed by hissing noises and general unrest among the collected delegates. This commentator thought it might be interesting, anthropologically speaking, to shout out the N-word in order to see how the crowd might react, but ultimately thought better of it.